Thursday, November 5, 2009

Hobo Ghosts (I will be offensive, just warning you)

The title will make sense later on in the post I swear!
I would first like to thank Leslie for giving me the fodder to fuel this fire. She told me the other day that she doesn't believe in ghosts. She has good reason, I'm not going to go into it, it's her story to share. I on the other hand have had 'weird' things happen to me that lead me to believe that there are ghosts. Now aliens, I can't wrap my head around aliens but ghosts, yeah I get that. (ha)
I haven't had a ton of 'paranormal experiences' just one or two. Once when I was sleeping I heard someone say my name and then blow in my face. I uhm haven't been able to sleep towards the edge of the bed since. When I lived with my uncle in his creepy apartment I swear I had something on my bed every night with me. And then after I moved out and then went back to visit, I woke up worried about my mom because of a dream and felt a hand caress my face.  It didn't freak me out, it actually calmed me down.
Leslie and I have decided that I'm a freak and she's awesome about this whole situation. Leading me to talk about all of the awesome ghost hunting shows on television. I will not be discussing Ghost Whisperer or Medium because they're not "reality" shows. Plus I really like Ghost Whisperer because she wears really fancy clothes all the time and some how in that small town people still don't know that she can talk to ghosts.

So did you know there there are at least 8 shows that I can find that are regular shows about Ghost Hunting or Paranormal research of some sort. This is awesome to me. I love ghost hunting shows because they think that it's really scary to the viewer but honestly it's not. Because everything happens off screen. I can say though when I first started watching Ghost Hunters I really liked it because they did catch things on camera. But then it spiraled out of control. Here's my list and here's what I think about them.

Ghost Hunters:

Okay the only thing that they seem to catch lately is spider and bats. There's a guy on there that is more afraid of spiders and flying then he is of "spirits." And really do they have to explain what all their equipment is EVERY show? I think I know what a flashlight is for fellas, thanks. And they don't actually help the people in my opinion. They just say "yeah it's haunted" or "it's all in your mind." And then they're gone. And I can't stand most of the "characters" on the show. My favorite line so far is "Well should I start provoking the spirits?" "Dude, these people have had a hard enough life, if they don't want to come out and talk with us....they don't ... have to." Pure gold. I wish I could get audio of it or a video clip.  Which leads me to...

Ghost Hunters International:

Okay take the two most annoying people from your cast and give them their own show. Awesome idea! Yeah sure you're rid of them, but we still have to listen to them. I think that it is a good idea to check out England and the rest of "The Old World" and it has a lot of history and with that possible hauntings but no actual video evidence or very little. Just a bunch more "what was that?!" moments. I say "LAME!"

Paranormal State:
I like these guys because unlike GH if there is an actual haunting they don't just say "yup it's haunted, see ya later!" They do ritual cleansing which might work might not, BUT it makes the victim feel better about their house. If I thought my house was haunted I would want it "cleansed" before they left. They do get a lot of video evidence of people being possessed but then you have to ask yourself if it's all an act or not.

Destination Truth:

Is awesome. I love how over the top they are with their maps and explanations. It makes the show. No matter that when they were looking for a killer dog in Egypt and all they came up with was a fox. But I do give them kudos for going into Chernobyl and checking that out. That was pretty impressive.

A Haunting isn't so much a ghost hunting as it is ghost stories. The re-creations are awesome and it always gives me chills. But it seems a little over the top at times.

Ghost Adventures:

is where it spins a little out of control. The guys are WAY over-the-top and too into seeing things and provoking spirits. Which doesn't really lead to anything. Their night vision always just ends up making them creepy. I watched one episode and it was mostly "dudes! and what was that?!" And my favorite was "I just felt something on my leg! Dude! Wanna check it out!!" And he had scratches!! AHHHH!!

And then it all goes wrong with Extreme Ghost Hunters(which I couldn't find a picture for). Holy lord, who gave three rednecks HD cameras with night vision?!? Seriously oh and they're not always in the dark in those places like other shows because you can clearly see all the camera lights. They do rituals that they tell you not to try at home and try to scare you with awesome graphics between cuts. It's bad. Favorite line: "Dudes I've never hunted ghosts on water. I don't know anyone who HAS!!"

Then it gets worse. Last night I found Ghost Lab on the Discovery Channel. Really Mike Rowe? How many shows can you narrate for?! I've recorded it for further study but so far, not so scary, not any ghosts popping up.

So with all these ghost hunting shows on now I want to get into the mix. So here's my pitch.
An all woman group of ghost hunters. And they could all wear pink! Because that's what women do when they get their own shows.
Leslie and I were talking about this the other day. And she told me that if I had a ghost hunting show she would dress as a hobo ghost and jump out at me at every house that I investigated. And I thought how awesome would that be?! The audience would be at first thinking "why is that hobo ghost sippin' on Night Train." And then she would jump up yelling "HOBO GHOST!" and I would say "Oooh Leslie!!" And then from then on every episode the audience would wonder when the hobo ghost would appear.
I have yet another pitch... Little People Ghost Hunters. I'm waiting for E! to get that one. They don't have a show about little people or ghosts yet....I'm emailing them today. (not really)


  1. You need an introduction to my mother. She watches all of those shows, too. She goes on and on about how Steve on Ghost Hunters is afraid of spiders and flying. I will watch "A Haunting" in the afternoons, though.

  2. I think I've seen all of the episodes of A Haunting. And Steve is a douche. He's almost as bad as the snaggle tooth guy that they sent off to Europe.

  3. my friend Rosanna was a guest on Ghost Whisperer. Can't remember which episode it was though.

  4. Wait, are we talking about the same Ghost Whisperer? I'm talking about the one with Jennifer LoveHugeTits...not the good one with Lisa Williams. I LOVE Lisa Williams. I didn't include her because of my love for her. And I think her ghosts might tell her I was talking about her. Really I do, I wish I had a ghost that she could talk to for me. I went to her website and wanted to join her community but you had to pay like 30 bucks a year, and I don't have the money.

  5. Thanks for visiting my blog, and I love the story... If it were told by The Bloggess, you know where that tree frog would have gone... But I believe I discovered YOU first. So I win! I believe in ghosts too. No reason just because there are a lot of ghost stories in my culture. It is just something that one believes in. Like reincarnation. I hope I never experience anything like the ones you did. After reading the first part of this post, I am now worried that I may never ever fall asleep in a hotel room when I go on biz trip again. Thanks a lot! No really. Thank you. I can watch more law and order reruns. One can never have enough of that show. Unfortunately I will never watch any of the ghost shows because, eh, I do believe in ghosts so I am too chicken to actually watch any show that proves them to be real. (Or tries to) And where is the offensive part? Did I miss it? Are we supposed to be PC now towards ghosts too?

  6. Ha! No I actually took out the part that I thought would really offend people, even though I used PC terms...I was thinking of another ghost hunting show. You know they have kids as ghost hunters a show on HBO. Well I was thinking that we could one up that and have a group of Developmentally delayed people...But I didn't clear it with my mom first who is a teacher. If she laughed then I would have posted it. I wrote it out and then thought better because I don't want people bitching at me for being mean to "retards"(by the way I would NEVER call a person with a disability a retard, I use that word for really stupid people who should be smart but CHOSE to be stupid)
    Anyway! I love Law and Order! I watch that one and SVU. I don't like Criminal Intent though.