My friend keeps asking me "did you watch...? oh wait, no you didn't you don't have cable" she's taunting me and I don't like it. I've started a new book called "The Alienist" by Caleb Carr. Its a wonderful book that my friend sent me. I've been taking my time on it, and I don't know if its because I'm not used to "adult" books or if I'm savoring it. I think a little bit of both. I've been reading a lot of "fluff" lately. A lot of teen books that take me a half a day to finish and I'm tired of that. I needed something to make me think...and this one does just that.
I had an odd dream last night, which isn't new to me, but I wanted to share it. I dreamt that I went to Janet Jackson's house and she had four kids and she lived in a bunch of combined trailer houses. And I told her that I was pleasantly surprised and thought that she would be a little more "ostentatious" I actually used that word in my dream. I think that was the weird part of my dream that I actually used large vocabulary, I don't ever recall doing that in any other dream.
I took back all my cable boxes today to the cable company. I called them first to let them know that I was bringing them back. They weren't too upset that I was canceling this time, maybe its because I haven't been able to pay my bill in two months or so. I've been trying to cancel for three months, back when my bill was only $60 and I still couldn't pay that...but they didn't seem to want me to or let me. So now my bill is $300 and they cut me off..."well now do you believe me?!" I think they're getting more calls like mine, the lady was very kind about my situation.
But we finally have money coming in at decent intervals and our bank account is in the black again and all of our bills are getting paid, but we have gone out to eat a couple times which is bad, and we're not making that a habbit again.
I feel like I'm on the edge of a breakdown again. I think this is because I got dependent on my counselor and now that I'm not going any more I have no one outside my life to vent to. I tried to vent to my mother last night but I got no where with her.
Oh and another thing. I think my house is haunted and I think the ghost attacked me last night. two scratches appeared on my arm last night right before I got in the shower. I didn't notice them until the water hit them and started stinging...they honestly just appeared! Its the weirdest thing, and it leads me to believe that I have pissed a ghost off. I bet its one of Ryan's "imaginary" friends he's always talking about. That worries me, I watch too many spooky shows and when that kid starts talking to imaginary friends a little more then necessary I get worried. I told Jesse that if one day I tell him that I'm being haunted he better believe me...and he told me that he would. But now that this has happened he's not so sure. He asked me "what did you do to yourself?!" Like I would scratch the shit out of my arm on purpose. That's something that I would do. I forgot to tell him I'm a cutter. I don't know if that's clear enough for you but there is the phantom scratch.
I know it doesn't look like much but it stings like a bitch!
So then I was all paranoid all night and didn't sleep, which isn't anything really new but I had a hard time falling asleep. I keep waking up at 3 am too, which I have heard is a very haunting hour. On Paranormal State they call it "dead time" which is spooky. I don't know why they don't call it something else less scary.
Anyway besides my phantom scratches nothing really happened this weekend to report. I think I gained all my weight back because I ate a lot of really good pizza on Saturday. I need to do some exercising someday.
Alright. I think I'm done. I know there was actually something important that I was going to blog about today feelings and whatnots but I don't recall. Maybe I'll remember later.
23 hours ago