So my aunt called out of the blue today and invited me to a movie. Weird. My sister has been spending all her time off at my aunts lately and I thought that I was thrown to the wayside. So this call caught me off guard, I don't know why she wants to hang out now.
I made Jesse apply for a job that will have us moving away from Spokane...I hope he gets it. It has benefits and a steady pay, after 4 years of thinking "are you getting work this week" a good paycheck is all I really need. If the guy would actually get 40 hours a week we would be in good shape, but some weeks, like this one, he well doesn't work much. Today is the first day that he's gone to work. Yeah, I think its Thursday right?
And I'm sure your thinking "Why don't you go to work you lazy bitch?" I will respond to this. I have never been able to hold down two jobs. I am a single job type of person. I take my position at a mom as a job. And I couldn't be able to go to another job as well as do this. As little as I do. I can't imagine going to another work and having to do both. So anyway that's my reasoning, plus the fact that I dont' want to work anywhere like an office or a retail place.
So since I've touted that I love being a mom, can I say that I can't stand my 2 year old today. He's being very, very 2. I just got smacked in the back of the head. He's been in "time out" most of the morning...and he claims to be starving for some reason. I also have my cantakerous 4 year old nephew to deal with too. Who insists on demanding for things instead of asking nicely. I got demanded yesterday to stop vaccuming because it was interfereing with his movie. Yeah I respond very well to demands. Especially from someone a fourth my size.
My mood has shifted, and I think I'm hitting a low. I've been very down the past couple of days and I'm trying not to dwell on the fact that I don't have a counselor to go vent to every week about my poor me situations. Most of the time that's all it is really just me feeling sorry for myself. I know this. I just can't move beyond. I don't know if its lack of sleep or the fact that I keep forgetting to take my anti-depressant, but I'm having a hard time again controling emotions, but I don't want to be on my pills anymore. I want to be rid of them so I can maybe start thinking about having another baby, because if this is what I'm supposed to do I better have more then just one kid right? I can't just have one and be a stay at home mom, how lame is that, that's for rich moms. I'm a poor mom. Full discloser here...Jesse made only 25,000. My single friend made over 40...yeah we're not poor at all. How do we make it you ask? Oh I have no secrets, we just don't spend a lot of money. We don't go to movies. We do go out to eat though, and more then we should. He would make more if like I said before, if he worked more... but that's construction for you I guess. Its better then fast food but not by much. I keep telling him to go out on his own, because then he would make more but he doesn't want to listen. So my fingers are crossed and my prayers have been thrown up to Jesus and God and whoever else is listening. Jesse needs this new job. He needs it bad. WE need it bad.
1 day ago