"Why do we lose by 30 all the time?!"

So my b-ball girls broke me down today. I blame my fragile state on PMS...its due anyday now. The girls had a terrible game today, they didn't listen at all to me, they didn't play like they usually do and they only scored 5 points...and yes the other team had 35. But in our defense this other team was I think probably a team of cyborgs or something. And one girl seriously was almost as big as me. (5'9", 230) okay so she wasn't 230 but I swear to god she was like 5'9"! And they were throwing screens like offensive linemen! And! Their COACH!! She just sat there on the bench and didn't say a thing the whole time!! I am up and running the whole game trying to get my puppies to jump through hoops and here she is just sitting and her fifth graders were running plays that I didn't learn till Jr. High!! It was crap. And my sweet girls cried, and made me cry. So Friday if they show up for practice will be a heart to heart and sit down and talk about do they actually want to win games or just have fun and they need to figure it out because if they just want to have fun and don't really care about winning we can continue on but if they want to have fun AND win, well there are going to be some changes, we only have two games left of the season, I want to break the 10 point mark by the end of it. I have fought my deamons though all evening telling myself that I am a good coach and I am worthy of coaching. Its hard my brain just wants to shut down and all I think about is how all the parents must be hating me. I even said to the girls "Good lord your parents are going to fire me!" I get so worried about how they feel about me coaching and I know I did them a good thing by even doing it because no one else wanted to but I still feel like I'm letting everyone down.

Deep breath...moving on

My friend asked me why I haven't blogged in a while, not that she doesn't talk to me every single day she just likes to read my words apparently. Because I'm a wizard but with words not magic. I haven't blogged because my computer blows. And my sister won't let me use her hoyty toyty computer because she thinks I'll break it. I did talk her into unlocking it for me tomorrow because I have to get a background investigation thingy done for Jesse. No Dam Job for Jesse, but he did get into the second round of hiring for Customs and Border Patrol! Yay! And yes I'm doing all the work because well if Jesse was left to it they wouldn't be able to read anything it would take him 4 months to type everything. But the background thing is KILLING ME!! They need to know way too much information. And Jesse doesn't have the cleanest record in the world oh and we're shut ins so he doesn't hang out with people...just me. And of course they're not going to believe me when I tell them that he would be a kick ass border guard. I just hope his little misshaps will not exclude him. It will be wonderful if he gets this job. And we might get to move across state, because I don't want to live up north of here. THERE'S NOTHING!! But if we move west that means I have to get a job because there is no way we're living over there on one income. EXPENSIVE!

I haven't been scrapbooking lately because I've been blocked. I've run out of idea's and I need new ones. I have no idea what happend to my gigantic box full of scrapbooking magazines. I think Jesse threw them out. He would.

So I am now addicted to playing PS3 Live...its like the Sims and chat rooms mixed together. You can make your own person and I'm a very tall slender beautiful woman who talks shit to everyone. ha! But the other day I got accused of being a guy...and I almost had to fight a guy. If you can fight in cyber space. I think that would be fun. If the avatars could actually throw down. They have a little place were you can play pool and bowling and I like to do that more then anything. I like the pool...I'm getting pretty good at it. I tell people that I'm 900lbs and confined to my bed, and sometimes they believe me. Or I've told people that I'm 95 years old and somehow figuring out this "contraption." I can't do this when Jesse is gone though because Oscar gets into everything when I'm trying to mess around. Ohh the life of a 2 year old. He's the reason for my being. hah! But playing this game has made me realize that I have the mentality of a 19 year old boy. I have two new friends who are boys from supposivly B.C. but one professed his love for me that's how cool I am. They're 19...yeah...AWESOME!

Alright its late I'm tired...