So I still hate my computer. While waiting for Amazon to complete my order I wrote a blog on paper. I don't know if I'll type it out though, I'm too tired of it already. Its too contrite. That's right I used that word. What? I feel like I need to change my title again because I rarely discuss being depressed, even though I feel I am depressed daily. Shhh, don't tell anyone but I haven't taken my meds in ohh about a week now. No idea why, I just haven't. I have a terrible cold. I got it from my son...because he shares drinks with me and coughs on me all night. Oh and I had to stay up with him three nights in a row, yeah that was fun. We ended up taking him to see the doctor after he had a low grade fever for 4 days or so, and I thought "its just a cold, they're going to tell me," "your crazy, there's nothing wrong with him, that cough? oh that's nothing" But the Dr looked in his ears and said "Oh! that one looks wrong!" "wait, wrong? Like how?" "well there seems to be a blister on his ear drum" "AWESOME!" How the hell do they see that crap with that thing?! I want one of those things, I would be looking in his ears all day long! So my wonderful little boy can't just get a simple ear infection he has to get something that sounds horrendous like a blister on your eardrum. Did he complain about this? No he didn't. Jesse and I were amazed that there was anything wrong with his ears. He's never NEVER had an ear infection in his two year life span. I'm very proud of that by the way...and now he blew it. Jerk had to go and do this to me. He's like his mom, when he does it he does it good. So he got an ear infection that turned into a cold therefore giving me a cold and me giving Jesse a cold. But Jesse has an immune system like no other and it will only affect him for a day or so. Me on the other hand...well I have not had sinus pain like this in my life time. I hurt. My face hurts like someone pounded me in the face with a hammer. And my nose is raw from all the tissue and I don't care what they say no amount of aloe in a tissue helps when your blowing it all freaking day (that's what she said).
It seems to me that blogs start out as one thing and then morph into another completely different animal as you go. As your life changes to does the glob, which makes sense. I think I started my blog, not to keep family updated, but to journal all my little things in life, because I got tired of writing them down on paper. I like journaling, as boring as it is because I like to look back on myself and see how I've changed and I guess to see if I have changed at all. In some ways I had this delusion that people would read my blogs and love them and be engrossed by my monotony, and then I would get paid by sponsors to sit and home and blog about nothing. No one wants to read my day to day unless it involves some sort of drama, my life contains no "real" drama. I have no life threatening illness that I have conquered to learn from or to teach people from. I have no drama with my man or my family to discuss. I could start a convoluted debate about the current economic crisis but it would be words stolen from Bill Maher. I don't keep up with politics, I don't watch college sports, I don't watch any sports for that matter. I can recite most of every Spongebob episode that comes on. I looked back on my high school through college journal to see the differences in my life, and I must say that it is pretty different. The biggest thing I see is the fact that in high school and college I never EVER said anything about having a family. I never once said I wanted to get married or have kids, or even have a long standing boyfriend for that matter. And here I am...in a committed relationship of almost 6 years. I went from one night stands to a 6 year relationship? What the hell is the matter with me? What's up with love and why does it do this to people?
After Thursday I will have nothing to do...My girls' last game is Thursday and I hope that they have fun. My first time coaching was very enlightening, I think I learned a lot about myself and I learned that this is what I want to do with my life. So I'm going for it. I'm going to go back to school for reals this time and get a degree in teaching and get a masters so I can coach basketball and become a PE teacher. I think for some reason this sounds right to me. And even after watching Bill Maher's Religulous I still feel like there is a benevolent god up there somewhere (not in outer space) pushing me in this direction. I hope that Jesse gets his job with the government, in the long run it will be the best for us, but I am going to apply for school for the fall and hope that I can get at least one semester done while he's away. Or before he goes away, which ever comes first.
Holy crap this is the most random post ever! No wonder I'm not on anyone's list!! Ha! This is what happens when your head is full of snot. You start blogging about even more nonsense.
Oh! On the "no drama" homefont, my sister has decided that she can no longer afford to live here, so she's moving out. Yeah, in a couple weeks for that matter. Yeah she can't afford the 525 a month that we pay in rent, because she likes to spend all her money on clothes for her kids, who never grow out of their clothes that they already have...She also says she can't afford the Avista bill which is only at the most going to be a little over 100, which yes might sound terrible but if the woman would just control her money just a little more she would be alright. Jesse hasn't worked in 2 weeks and we're still okay...Thanks in large part to our tax returns but still. I don't understand it really anyway, our lease isn't up till june and you know they would make us pay at least an extra months rent, so why not just stay here till June?! Its just three months away! She can't afford it for three more months! Plus she doesn't like how we want respect from her children and she doesn't feel like this is her home for some reason even though all of the shit up stairs is hers. Everything is hers. All the shit in the kitchen living room and outside. Hers. So yeah, I refuse to move. I do not want to move right now and then maybe in 9 months have to move again if and when jesse gets this job. So we're looking for roomates. I'm meeting with some girls tomorrow to show them the basement and see if they like it. That means I have to get up and clean tomorrow. Yuck. But I hope they work out because I don't really like hunting for people and the only other responses we've gotten are from people with kids, and if that happens then we have to share the upstairs bathroom with them because it has a tub. So the only moving I'll be doing, is well, none! Because Jesse will do all the moving. Oh yeah and since we paid off the couch, we're doing it again, and finally, FINALLY!! I will get a new bed and bed frame, you know in my life I have only had one bed with a frame...yeah! Most of the time they're either on the floor or on bricks. I'm already feeling grown up. And since Mel provided the table and chairs we went and found a very nice table and chair set too! All in all I am very excited about this. We might fall flat on our faces but then again, we might not! But WHO CARES I'LL HAVE A KING SIZED BED!! A bed that actually fits two large Americans!! Plus I'll be away completely from Mel's snarky little children! She's moving to the Valley. Oh that's another thing that was bothering me. When I first told Mel that I wanted to go month to month here after our lease was up so we wouldn't have to potentially move twice in one year for the fourth year in a row...She didn't like the idea of staying here into next school year because she would have to take the kids out of school...BUT! NOW...She's taking the kids out of school. Yeah. ugh. My sister bugs me.
I need to get going. I have to shower again, to try and loosen up some sinus pressure. I'm hoping I'll be able to sleep. I've only been like this since Friday I think, I'm giving it till this Friday then I'll go bug my dr. My lovely all knowing sister wanted me to go in today. "for what? so they tell me I have a cold and then I get to go home?" That's what she did today, because her kid had a temp of 99...took him and her daughter and her in to the dr...what did they tell them? "you have a cold, go home" HA! See, she bugs me.
1 day ago