Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Spiritual Death in the Family

My family is very solid in our Catholic base. My mom made sure of it. We didn't get a choice on whether we could go to church or not. We went every Sunday, we went to CCD, (I still don't know really want it stands for), we went to potlucks and Mardi Gras every year. My mom, sister, and I got to go to Denver my 8th grade year and see the Pope. It was the single most moving experience of my life. To be surrounded by 100s of thousands of people and to see the most influential Catholic in the world was pretty amazing. And when our little group started chanting "John Paul 2 we love you." and he said "John Paul 2 loves you" was pretty much it for me. I think it went down hill from there though. Where do you go in a religion after you've been talked to by the leader?! After losing two of the best priests in the biz at our church and going through having a string of terrible ones, I kinda lost my love of the catholic church. It really came to a halt when they started handing out fliers of places we "should" boycott because they gave money to Planned Parenthood. I didn't like that because well P.P. was the only place I could get my birth control at the time, because I was broke and didn't have insurance. So I told my mom I was boycotting the boycott. I thought it was ridiculous. She told me something very interesting and my grandpa told me the same thing. "You don't have to believe EVERYTHING the church tells you."
For my entire life I have believed that Mormons had to be some sort of cult. My mom is friends with Mormon families in our town (its hard not to) but she's never liked the religion, she's a person that can separate the person from the belief, and most of the time I can too. My mom's main point is the fact that the Mormon religion isn't based on Christ, and she really can't understand that, she doesn't like that they live by a book not written "by the hand of god." So when Mormons would come to the door she would politely tell them to talk to "Sister So-and-So, she will tell you that I am very cemented in my Catholic faith" She's even invited Mormons in and shown them all that's wrong with their "religion", she's also done this with Jehovah Witness. Its pretty impressive actually. I myself never understood them, Mormons, they have too many secrets for me. Its probably the reason why I could never be in a sorority, too much secret stuff going on. I need to know EXACTLY what I'm getting into. And when you ask them questions they don't answer them. They just want you to go to meetings and I'm not for that. Tell me what its all about NOW.
My nephew has been "dating" this girl from his school now for three years or more, and she's nice and my sister adores her. But her family is very devout Mormon, and now unbeknown to my sister, my nephew has converted to Mormonism. I had no idea. My sister had no idea he was even thinking about it. One day he comes home and says "I'm getting baptized tomorrow." I have to side bar here....
Getting baptized to me is completely different then any other religion. Other religions baptize you into their church. Catholics baptize you to cleanse you from original sin, when your a baby, so you don't have to worry about it. The only reason they baptize adults is because they haven't been cleansed yet...
So she was pretty much hit with this pretty suddenly. I didn't find out till I called home after seeing weird status updates from my sister and my nephew. I talked to my brother and I said "what the heck?! What's going on?!" and he said "Well I got home at 11 last night and everyone was still up, and they were acting like someone died, and I asked, and they said 'Nephew, has converted to Mormonism.'"
What I don't like is that the girl's family who has a pretty close relationship with nephew didn't mention anything to HIS MOTHER...they did this all in secret, I'm thinking so that she wouldn't be able to convince him otherwise. So my sister and my mom went to his baptism, and sister asked my mom "should I take my camera? I don't know how to take this" and mom answered "No, he's already been baptized, you don't need anymore pictures." I love my mom.
So in response to this all I have taken to studying a couple books on Mormonism. And I have found some interesting things. Sure they have good family values, BUT, they can't voice their own opinions if they differ from the church. Sure they can "think" them, but they can't voice them. They have to believe EVERYTHING the church tells them...If their church told them to boycott P.P. they would have to. If I don't tithe at my church I can still do things for my church, Mormons can't.
But I feel as though there has been a spiritual death in our family, its not like Nephew was a church regular, but still. I wish that the Catholic church would fight hard to keep their flock as much as the Mormons do. I just feel weird about the whole thing. They get you to believe that their way is the ONLY way, and then if you disagree, well you don't get to go to heaven. But it's their "version" of heaven that has me all confused. Depending on how you look at it you can kinda think that the Mormon religion is almost like a Pyramid Scheme. You have to achieve different things during your life and if you complete all the challenges then in heaven you become a god! A GOD! And you have to populate your heaven with all the people in your religion, and people that they think should repent after they die like Hitler. Yes they baptized Hitler after he'd been dead for a while, just incase he wanted to convert to Mormonism after he died. Oh and so he could spend eternity with his mistress. Wait...so their okay with people having mistresses?
I guess I've become Agnostic. I don't go to church, I don't really get anything out of going to church. I can't stand other religions though because I just can't get into them. I suppose it was the 18 years of forced church attending that made me just really like Catholics over any other church. Plus most religions including my own believe that my child is a bastard, because Jesse and I aren't married. Oscar isn't less loved because we're not married. He's not missing out on anything because we don't share the same last name...I've tried to go to church, but more or less I just like talking to God on my own. I don't like people asking me if I've accepted Jesus as my personal savior, because really, I don't know. I know that I don't really like the hypocrisy of religion and of all of the churches.
If you made it through this blog, I apologize for the poor English and if it confused you. The whole thing confuses me.
I sometimes wonder though if it hurts my mom that we don't all still go to church as regularly as she does.

8 comments:

  1. I am totally not religious at all, but I think your mom would just be glad you still "talk to GOD". Everyone always says you don't have to go to church to show your love and devotion, and I think you should believe that. You have to believe whatever makes you comfortable and able to make it through the day. I am sure if I had grown up how you did I would be in the same boat, but since I grew up with no religion I am pretty much how you are to other religions with all of em. I have nothing against people that follow things as long as they don't show em down my throat, but I think as long as you have faith it doesn't matter what building you are in at the time.

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  2. I started my own church. We learn from examples of other churches. The stuff that makes SENSE anyway. Because the only things we can know about God is what we can experience empirically. And God seems pretty rational to me. So my church is called The First Universal Church of Parsimony (based on the law of Parsimony or Occam's Razor that suggests that the simplest explanation is probably the correct one). No tithing. No bigotry. And since we believe that God is empirical, there is no set time for "church"--it's all the time.

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  3. Amber: I think that's why I really don't like Mormons, the crux of it I guess, is that they tend to shove it down your throat, and they're all high and mighty with their religion.
    Lindsey: I'M IN! Where do I sign up?!

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  4. Well, I've got a lot of friends out here that are Mormon. I was raised Episcopal, but I don't attend church, nor to subscribe to any organized religion.

    You know, Miranda, when you really look at the beliefs of any particular religion, from the outside they sound bizarre. Try explaining communion to someone who is not Christian, or wasn't raised in one of the Christian denominations and they will (rightly, if you look at it from their perspective) look at you like you've sprouted another head. Step back from beliefs for a moment, and you realize, "Uh, yeah, I get how that sounds like my church kind of...mimes cannibalism, when you get right down to it. Huh."

    So, other peoples beliefs tend to be sort of freaky when viewed from the perspective of standing outside of them. Faith, belief in something without proof. It's the nature of the thing.

    One of the strangest classes, and the most fascinating, that I ever took was Comparative Religions. All religion is about the practices surrounding the same psychological impulse most have: To believe something fully without proof. It's all different ways of doing the same psychological and spiritual dance. "How do we connect with the divine?"

    Don't concentrate on the mechanisms of that practice. Try looking at the uniting factor in all belief systems: Belief in something outside of ourselves.

    If you watch a Native American ritual, it's easy to get caught up in the mechanism, "What is he doing?" "He's representing the bear." "Uh..." What he's really doing is seeking a pathway to the divine, trying to connect.

    Same stuff Catholics do when they genuflect, or have communion. The steps of the dance are different, but the reasons for the dance are very much the same.

    In most Christian denominations (and in the Catholic Church also) the belief that men are the rulers of their households is part of the doctrine. Now, I don't believe that for a red hot second. But it's a common belief.

    Just saying, there are unseemly looking parts to any faith system. I don't participate in faith systems, but hey, most of them are trying to help people be better human beings, and connect with the divine. There are some warts and flaws with that.

    Oh, and CCD stands for Catholic Christian Doctrine :-)

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  5. Oh and I checked with my mom and CCD stands for Conferternity of Christian Doctrine.
    It dates back to the mid sixties.

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  6. Miranda, my husband was also raised Catholic, and had to attend CCD, I had asked him what it stood for, but considering that he was hauled off to church under protest, I think your mom is the better source!

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  7. Adding another comment because I called my husband at work to say, "Hey! It's Conferternity of Christian Doctrine, I just searched on the internet, you big fibber!"

    His reply? "And heathen, don't forget that I'm a practicing heathen these days."

    All righty then!

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  8. Wow, that's quite a leap, from Catholic to Mormon, and he isn't even married to this girl!

    Most moms want their kids to go to church, sweetie, you're not the only one with a mom whispering to God to please make _____ come back to the Church. *grin*

    Big Hugs!

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