Convoluted Jiggle Bellies

Leslie always acuses her husband of going after "giggle bellies" (women with a big gut obviously). He said something the other day about working at JC Penny, and Leslie asked if he was going to work in the lengerie department so he can take a woman's bra off in 5 minutes. And he said "no I want to work in the plus sizes." "why so you can chase around the giggle bellies??" and then she made groping gestures with her hands. She's been going to the gym lately and working with a trainer, she talked to her mom today and her lovely mom says "I just hope your going for you and not some other reason..." Like she was going because her husband hates her and will not love her until she's 110lbs. Then her mom continues and says "Well its not like you'll ever be super skinny." Awesome, I wish I had a mom like hers! I would have a way more interesting blog.

Today on the phone we talked about my boobs, and how they're saggy and when I was in the garage looking in the freezer they froze to the floor, well my nipples did anyway...and Jesse came in to help and I swung around and they sliced at him like light sabers. This was all her talking by the way, I am not this funny...then after she says this crap about my boobs being light sabers she says "well talk to you later!"

Leslie and I hadn't seen eachother in 5 years or so and we talked about meeting up in Portland to go to the zoo with the families. While we were planning this we were asking ourselves "what are we going to do when we see eachother?" "will we scream like 13 year old girls?" "No we will run up to eachother and our fat bodies will knock together and we will be thrown to the ground where we will just roll around for a while because we're too fat to get off the ground." Neither of us take our weight very seriously, this must be a problem.

I ate way too much today, it was like I was starving all day. I must be pregnant. If I'm pregnant I will change the title of my blog to PREGO RANDA PANTS! No I won't I'll have to brain storm with Leslie to figure out a very snappy title for ANOTHER blog about someone being pregnant and all the joys that come with it. But it won't be joyus, I will write all about my puking and my heartburn, and how I can't sleep and how I can't eat, and then I will tell an uncensored version of the delivery and how I hemoraged afterward and had some doctor in my hoo-haa up to his elbows to clean out all the clots. (This happend the last time I was stupid enough to have a baby). Hopefully if I do end up pregnant I will loose 20 lbs during the pregnancy again. That will get me down to 200lbs...and then this time I vow to keep it off.

I must not be pregnant, there's something else going on, it must be stress that I'm not paying attention to that is making me hungry. The stress that Jesse went to work for a whole four hours today, and still hasn't heard anything about his unemployment coming through. Or the stress that I for some reason can't even be considered by a head shop as an aplicible canditate. I would sell the shit out of glass "smoking pipes" I would! Then I would have fodder for this fledgling blog. Am I talking out of my range here? I feel like I'm talking way above myself today for some reason. Maybe its the frozen fingers and boobs.

I just got done reading "Wicked," I think it took maybe a day and a half. I LOVED IT! I never liked The Wizard of Oz, never...so to see it written this way was wonderful for me. I liked the whole story of the Witch's life and her view on what happened. I liked her version much better then Dorothy's. I never liked Dorothy or her silly little dog.
So now I'm on to "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius" which is to me, if I could write a book is pretty much how I would sound. So I love it. I also started "The Time Travelers Wife" and "The Angel of Darkness" Yes I start several books so I can go back and forth when I get tired of reading one, just incase I get tired. I started with The Angel of Darkness, but then I got AHWSG and had to start that one, but then I got Wicked back from my aunt and started that one at her house on Sunday and finished it last night. But now I'm totally engrossed with AHWSG so I will probably get done with it by tomorrow. I'll have to update my "book list."

I really should put more thought into this whole blog thing and maybe get a little more organized and add pictures and spend hours a day getting the whole thing ready and then unveil it to the world for all to see and enjoy. Ugh so much work though!

No cable day....Oh whatever...

My friend keeps asking me "did you watch...? oh wait, no you didn't you don't have cable" she's taunting me and I don't like it. I've started a new book called "The Alienist" by Caleb Carr. Its a wonderful book that my friend sent me. I've been taking my time on it, and I don't know if its because I'm not used to "adult" books or if I'm savoring it. I think a little bit of both. I've been reading a lot of "fluff" lately. A lot of teen books that take me a half a day to finish and I'm tired of that. I needed something to make me think...and this one does just that.
I had an odd dream last night, which isn't new to me, but I wanted to share it. I dreamt that I went to Janet Jackson's house and she had four kids and she lived in a bunch of combined trailer houses. And I told her that I was pleasantly surprised and thought that she would be a little more "ostentatious" I actually used that word in my dream. I think that was the weird part of my dream that I actually used large vocabulary, I don't ever recall doing that in any other dream.
I took back all my cable boxes today to the cable company. I called them first to let them know that I was bringing them back. They weren't too upset that I was canceling this time, maybe its because I haven't been able to pay my bill in two months or so. I've been trying to cancel for three months, back when my bill was only $60 and I still couldn't pay that...but they didn't seem to want me to or let me. So now my bill is $300 and they cut me off..."well now do you believe me?!" I think they're getting more calls like mine, the lady was very kind about my situation.
But we finally have money coming in at decent intervals and our bank account is in the black again and all of our bills are getting paid, but we have gone out to eat a couple times which is bad, and we're not making that a habbit again.
I feel like I'm on the edge of a breakdown again. I think this is because I got dependent on my counselor and now that I'm not going any more I have no one outside my life to vent to. I tried to vent to my mother last night but I got no where with her.
Oh and another thing. I think my house is haunted and I think the ghost attacked me last night. two scratches appeared on my arm last night right before I got in the shower. I didn't notice them until the water hit them and started stinging...they honestly just appeared! Its the weirdest thing, and it leads me to believe that I have pissed a ghost off. I bet its one of Ryan's "imaginary" friends he's always talking about. That worries me, I watch too many spooky shows and when that kid starts talking to imaginary friends a little more then necessary I get worried. I told Jesse that if one day I tell him that I'm being haunted he better believe me...and he told me that he would. But now that this has happened he's not so sure. He asked me "what did you do to yourself?!" Like I would scratch the shit out of my arm on purpose. That's something that I would do. I forgot to tell him I'm a cutter. I don't know if that's clear enough for you but there is the phantom scratch.
I know it doesn't look like much but it stings like a bitch!
So then I was all paranoid all night and didn't sleep, which isn't anything really new but I had a hard time falling asleep. I keep waking up at 3 am too, which I have heard is a very haunting hour. On Paranormal State they call it "dead time" which is spooky. I don't know why they don't call it something else less scary.
Anyway besides my phantom scratches nothing really happened this weekend to report. I think I gained all my weight back because I ate a lot of really good pizza on Saturday. I need to do some exercising someday.
Alright. I think I'm done. I know there was actually something important that I was going to blog about today feelings and whatnots but I don't recall. Maybe I'll remember later.